Where are we now??? do we ever laugh again? Are we still funny? Are we still who we were before ?
I personally can tell you I have laughed more sober than I can ever remember laughing DRUNK. While in recovery I shared a house with 4 other women of all ages (mostly young) and we laughed at ourselves and each other. Not all were alcoholics either some were meth heads some were other drugs. We were all from different walks of life and different economical classification. But we all had one thing in common WE WERE ALL ADDICTED to something. I remember before getting help I isolated a lot so to be thrown into the middle of strange women without alcohol for 30 days scared the shit out of me. But not a day went by that we didn’t support one another and laughed the whole time. Laughter is great and it’s free and it doesn’t come with any strings attached. We have maintained our relationships even though we have went back to our “normal lives”. It’s still a daily battle for us all but we are making it thru with laughter, being open about our struggles and disappointments. If your ever driving down Nicholasville rd during the day you may see me laughing so hard I can’t breath and that’s due to listening to AA Funny Speakers on you tube almost every day. We all have funny recovery stories and if you want a good laugh amidst a great recovery story turn the radio off and put your ear pods in and laugh among the tears and road rage and connect to others just like you, fighting the same battles as you, switch to the story’s of a thousand laughs. By the time you get where your going your mood is completely transformed
3 phases of alcoholism..
FUN PHASE where everything is better, more exciting and overall FUN, FUN, FUN!!!! My head is calm for once I am in control and I can move mountains. My little shot of courage gets me thru the day to accomplish everything. Alcohol was not my problem it was my solution.
FUN PLUS PROBLEM PHASE is where your still having a great time but at the cost of some problems or in my case many problems and put my self in harms way where if I didn’t wake up with bruises or something almost broken it was a miracle. Don’t let me forget the blackouts when others had to tell me what I actually did the night before. Most of the time I totally knew they were lying but sadly they weren’t if I wasn’t in a blackout it would be dog ass funny.
Last but not Least is the PROBLEM PHASE where it’s no longer fun it’s just a matter of survival. Relieving the shakes, getting thru the gags till you can actually get alcohol down. Having hangovers so bad I thought I’d die. Using opioids thru the day till I could start drinking again. There was no FUN during this period this is the point you realize you definitely need help. This is when the lying to yourself and everyone in your life is necessary just so you can still drink.
These 3 Phases lasted from 15 yrs old till August 20 2018 where I was 55 years old.
My IOP is over but not the great friends I made there. Today we will have our first Breakfast at ‘B’s house. I love these guys so much and we’ve been through a lot together over the last couple months. It’s important to keep people in your life that will not only keep you on the path forward but in necessary times pull you forward kicking and screaming if necessary.
There are so many phases to recovery and each has its good points and bad. I’d like to discuss what worked for me and what sucked. I’d also like to hear your story… 1st PHASE and hardest part was deciding you were ready to change and you were an addict 2nd PHASE was detox which was total hell and makes you think about never going thru this again 3rd PHASE is partial hospitalization program which for me was 30 days. (30 long days). 4th PHASE was IOP which is out patient conducted by a therapist which is 3 hours a day 4 days a week for 5 weeks. This was the easiest phase with the exception I drove 1.3 hours one way. 5th PHASE is aftercare which I have yet to begin but look forward to. Along with all these phases are visits to Therapist, psychs and meetings such as AA, Smart Recovery, women for Sobriety etc. it’s a full time job for 6 months or more. Here is just a breakdown in my next blog I’d like to get into more detail and hope you find it interesting and at times funny. Thanks for your support and please keep coming back.